We played this game in the playground at my school, St. Peter's RC Primary in Falcon Gardens, Edinburgh. I've never seen any mention of it anywhere else, and I've never come across anyone else who has played it, so I thought I ought to blog about it so that it was archived for posterity.
It's in the form of a little play.
THE VERY BEST CHICKEN
CAST OF CHARACTERS
The Mistress
The Maid
The Witch
The Very Best Chicken
Other Chickens (played by everyone else)
SCENE: The Mistress' parlour.
PRESENT: Mistress; Maid.
Mistress: I'm going to the market. I want you to take care of my chickens while I'm out. Don't let the witch get my Very Best Chicken!
They go out and count the chickens, and the mistress points out which one is the Very Best Chicken.
LATER:
The witch arrives and knocks on the door. The maid opens it but doesn't recognise her.
Witch [in a creaky, old-womanish voice]: Can you please get me a glass of water?
Maid: Yes of course. Just wait there while I get it.
The maid goes off to the kitchen. As soon as her back is turned, the witch sneaks in and heads for the chicken coop. She snatches the Very Best Chicken and runs off with it. When the maid gets back with the water, the witch has gone.
LATER:
The mistress returns home.
Mistress: Where are my glasses? I want to go and count my chickens.
The maid doesn't know where the glasses are and makes various suggestions, which can be improvised by the players. The only one I remember that was always suggested at some point, was, "They're up the lum!"
When the glasses are found, the mistress and the maid head for the chicken coop, where the mistress carefully counts the chickens, and finds one missing. To her horror, the missing chicken is The Very Best Chicken, and she is understandably angry with the maid.
Mistress [in a voice of doom]: Where is my Very Best Chicken?
All remaining chickens: It's in the Witch's Den!
[The whole thing, and particularly the word "de-en," should be shouted in a sing-song way, with two syllables, the second syllable being lower than the first.]
The mistress grabs the maid by one arms and starts swinging her round in little circles, attempting to smack her on the bottom, while the maid attempts to get away. [This is like a scene from a panto.]
When the mistress tires of this, the game starts over. She selects a new Very Best Chicken, and goes off to market again. The story repeats itself until no chickens are left. They are all in the witch's den.
I'd love to hear from anyone who has every played, or heard of, a playground game anything like this. If you attended St Pete's and played it there, please get in touch! If you think the story sounds familiar and you might be able to offer some guesses about the origins of the game, I want to hear from you. Or if you just want to make a comment of some sort, please do.
It was actually my favourite playground game at one point in my childhood. We'd recruit players by running round the playground, holding hands, and shouting, "Who wants a game of The Very Best Chicken?" (All games were recruited in this way.) Other kids would grab a hand and run with us until we had enough to get started. For this game you'd need a minimum of 5 players, but that only left you with one spare chicken, so it was much better with more.
