I am a calm-assertive pack leader, I am . . . well, sometimes, anyway

Cesar Millan's ideal state for the pack leader is 'calm-assertive', while the dogs in the pack need to be 'calm-submissive'. Since Sky 3 runs two episodes of The Dog Whisperer back to back every night of the week I'm becoming immersed in his ethos, and it's beginning to rub off on me.

Took the dogs out for a quick run round the field before our weekly trip to see Dad, and, horror of horrors, there on the other side of the road was E. with his little lurcher. This dog really dislikes my dogs, and I feel E. also dislikes them, as he has been known to wave his stick in a threatening manner at Ghyll in the past. I've always tried to avoid them if we see them coming, since that incident. As a pair, they are our nemesis. Today, however, I decided to be the calm-assertive pack leader, and march purposefully onwards, leading my pack with the right sort of energy. And it worked! I couldn't believe it. We walked past E. and his dog, and neither Pace nor Ghyll let out so much as a murmer. E's dog, however, did bark a little, but all three of us completely ignored it and walked on. Wow!

We have a long way to go before my dogs are 'balanced' as CM puts it, but we're getting there, and a lot of it is down to my own behaviour, rather than the dogs'. They've always behaved better for Steve, and this is probably because he's closer to the calm-assertive ideal than I am. I'm learning though.

Just a moment ago, as I was typing this, the dogs started barking, hearing something outside. (We're waiting for Steve to come back from his band practice.) Instead of shouting at them, I walked quietly downstairs, and without a word touched Pace, who was doing the barking at that point, gently but firmly on her head, and she became quiet and calm and moved away. Silence followed. This is amazing!

Their behaviour when the phone rings is already improving, though we haven't quite got there yet. Next they have to learn to be calm when customers arrive, and to ignore the postie. I feel optimistic though - I think we're going to do it. Hurrah!

Above: our somewhat extended pack last spring when Steve's mum and Dougal joined us on the beach.

On becoming a pack leader

Above: my pack
I'm reading Cesar Millan's book about dog psychology, Be A Pack Leader, which I got for Christmas. (Is someone trying to tell me something, do you think?) Having watched some of his TV programmes I can see where he's going with this: all I have to do is convince my dogs that I'm the leader, and then they'll be happy, well-rounded, well-behaved animals who will walk obediently behind me and never again get overexcited when they meet other dogs outside; Pace will no longer snarl if you come near her when she's eating; Ghyll won't try to eat the mail as it comes in the letterbox; Pace will at last be prepared to make friends with the cats; they will both sit quietly and benignly when the phone rings or a customer turns up at the door. It seems to involve saying, "tch!" to them each time they overstep the mark, but sometimes they're making so much racket they'd never hear it. Obviously there's more to it, but I've only read Chapter 1 so far so I haven't reached the clever bits yet.

Cesar Millan is Mexican, living in California. The 'Cesar' bit sounds Mexican enough, but 'Millan'? Has he got Scots ancestry, d'you think? He certainly has a way with dogs, but of course what he's really doing is training people, and some of the people on his TV series are as thick as they come, treating their dogs like children - no, no - if you treated children like that they'd be out in the streets causing riots.

I'd really like it to work. Both dogs have caused so much chaos in their own individual and not at all endearing ways that taking them out for a walk in a place where there might be other dogs about now requires a good deal of courage on my part. Sometimes the mental effort involved is all too much. Mostly they're brilliant dogs, but . . . if only they were more like cats.

Above: dogs should be more like this