The Final Session

... of the course I was on, was held this evening in Denton Holme Community Centre, a nice sort of village hall place at the back of the library. But we had to be there for 6pm. 6pm! Whose silly idea was that? No time for anyone to have a meal beforehand, unless, like me, they decided to clock off early, get to the hall before the doors opened, and eat cold bean stir fry and rice out of a plastic box in the car while waiting.

After the course proper, so well organised, so inspirational, so life-changing for some participants, this final session was a complete waste of time. In charge was a pleasant fellow from the new University of Cumbria, who, to give him his due, made the best of the bad situation he'd found himself in, but the whole exercise was pointless.

We'd been given these workbooks to fill in, labelled CREATE '08, which is the name of the course, with the list of the bodies behind it at the top: EU Social Fund; University of Cumbria; Cumbria Cultural Skills Partnership; Leading Learning and Skills. I guess all of these had to be assured that the participants in the course had actually attended the sessions, done some work, and learned something, in order for the funding to go through. The chappie from the UC told us sadly that he had nothing to do with writing the questions, so he was as much in the dark as we were when it came to figuring out exactly what sort of answers were expected.

For example, what sort of reply were we expected to give to this? (A whole A4 page was provided, blank and threatening looking, for our answers): "Please list the types of methods that you would consider using to record your learning activities (for example, written, video production, sound recording etc). Give examples of how you would research these media." Now this was a course where we sat at desks and took notes. One or two of us took some photos. How d'you fill an entire A4 page with that? And what on earth do they want when they ask for, "recording the outcomes of a reflective process"?

Most of us, being conscientious sort of people, had spent many hours labouring over this document, but after 3 hours in the community hall with the so-called expert, we were still none the wiser as to whether we'd passed the course or not. Whether we'll ever find out I've no idea: Veronica and I are still waiting for the results of the course we did in November 2006 . . . we stopped holding our breaths about that one some time ago.

For those of us who are self-employed it hardly matters, but for those like my friend Krishna, who are employed and whose employers paid for their participation, it matters a lot.

David Parrish would be appalled at this disorganised last session. When we left his 4th class we were all on a high, full of inspiration and ideas for developing and transforming our businesses; after tonight we felt crushed by bureaucracy.